I come to guess TOEIC score doesn't equivalent real English abilities. Of cource my English skill isn't enough, but TOEIC needs quick actions much more than listening skill. So I'm gradually questioning TOEIC score system.
On the other hand, I may overcome the test with better English ability than now, I guess. So I see that people with high score is very crazy English user who made much effort to improve their skill. I need to be like them.
Whether I get high score or not, I continue to make effort for English abilities. It doesn't make any pain for me.